My first job working in The United Methodist Church was as Youth Director at Aldersgate United Methodist Church in Alexandria. Overnight lock-ins at church are a staple of Youth Ministry. During my first lock-in, I directed the teenagers to build a fort with all the books in our Associate Pastor's office. Our Associate Pastor had more books than me, and I found out his books were organized so he knew where every book was located. He could find any book within seconds, thanks to a system he had perfected. So, to say he was upset after we built a fort would be an understatement. To this day, he will remind me of the prank and vent that he still cannot find many of his books 12 years later.
Whether you are looking for a book on the shelf or your favorite shirt, our days are structured around searching, around looking for the next thing. After we wake in the morning, we look for breakfast, searching cupboards and pantries for coffee and tea, cereal and toast. We search for an outfit to wear, an ensemble that will present us in the best light for the situations we may find ourselves in throughout the day. In the late morning, we may find ourselves standing in our office looking for a file that was “right there” just a few days ago. Or perhaps in the garage looking for a socket, only to realize that we lent that socket to our neighbor a few days ago to borrow, and it has yet to be returned.
And it's not just the things we require for daily living that we find ourselves looking for. Living in a time of social dislocation, many of us search for meaning and connection. We find ourselves more connected than ever while at the same time longing for more depth in our relationships. Fewer and fewer people know us for who we really are, and instead know us by the curated projections we allow. “We live in a culture that glorifies superficial values,” writes Marjorie Thompson. We keep our neighbors, coworkers, family, and even those at church at a safe distance out of fear of exposing who we really are while at the same time continuing the search for meaning and connection.
For many, the search for meaning and connection leads to places like Walker Chapel, while for others, the search leads them away from organized religion. While church attendance continues to decline, the number of those identifying as spiritual but not religious has increased. According to the Pew Research Center, those who are spiritual but not religious find themselves longing for the same thing the psalmist lamented: longing for God, longing for divine connection in times of distress, and for assurance that we have not been abandoned.[i]
“As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God? My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me continually, Where is your God?”[ii]
When you are looking for something and cannot find it, you can be left frustrated and forced to choose an alternative option. So, if we cannot find God in church, we might choose an alternative, perhaps nature. And when that does not work, we may turn to studying about God or what others believe, all the while not considering what we believe. We may ask a friend or our pastor what to do and that we might feel closer to God and be handed a list of things to do: pray more, fast more, study the Scriptures more. More, more, more. These mores feel like a burden rather than an invitation to experience God's grace. But remember, the church is not just a place to search for God; it is a community where we can support each other in our individual searches and share our experiences of God's grace.
One of the most troubling trends in the life of the church is the notion that we are the ones doing the searching. It is as if we have convinced ourselves that God is off in a galaxy far, far away from us. But the truth is that God has always been searching for us. The truth is God has always been searching for you. We may think that we have been doing the searching and have ultimate responsibility in this relationship, but it turns out God has been searching for us the whole time. You are not just a part of the search but the reason for it. You are important to God.
Our Scriptures testify to the relentless pursuit of God.
Throughout the Old Testament, God is not only pursuing Israel but also leading them. Out of Egypt.[iii] Through the wilderness.[iv] In the anointing of their leaders.[v] God does not abandon Israel because God has never been in the business of abandoning.
Jesus called his disciples.[vi] The disciples did not come calling him. Jesus said he would leave the 99 behind in search of the one that was lost.[vii] Jesus went to the types of places good church people often overlook so that those who the religious elite had forgotten would experience the grace of God.[viii]
Even as Paul marched to Damascus to stomp out the church, Jesus met Paul on the road and transformed his life. Paul thought he would find Jesus’ followers in Damascus, and instead, Jesus found Paul.[ix]
Over the coming weeks, we will consider how we can grow in our connection with God through the study of God's Word, prayer, and communion. But here's the thing: God is already ahead of us while we are out searching and considering new spiritual practices. Our search for God is never in vain because God is always with us. The psalmist cries, “Why are you cast down, Oh my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him my help.”[x]
God is already at work. God was already seeking you out. And even when we feel lost or alone, we can take comfort in the assurance that God is with us, guiding our search and leading us.
You see, this search did not start when we decided to look for God. God was seeking you out long before you were aware of God. We search because, deep down, we know we need God. But we find God because God has already been searching for us. This is not to say that the search for God, that our longing for God, is always easy. There will be what Spanish Catholic priest and mystic Saint John of the Cross called “the dark night of the soul.” But as the psalmist reminds us and as Christ has proven time and time again, even in the dark moments, God is searching for us. God is searching for you.
Amen.
[i] https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2023/12/07/spirituality-among-americans/
[ii] Psalm 42:1-3
[iii] Exodus 12
[iv] Exodus 15:22-18:27
[v] 1 Samuel 16:13–14, 18:12, and 1 Kings 1:39
[vi] Matthew 4:18
[vii] Matthew 18
[viii] See the Parables of Grace or any time Jesus “crossed to the other side.”
[ix] Acts 9
[x] Psalm 42:5
The Search for God